LET'S FIND OUT
September 1, 2015
By Virginia F. Swope. Warrenton, VA
This is a list of 5 common bride-to-be struggles that every bride deals with, all of which are perfectly normal.
What was he thinking? What happened to a nice restaurant and getting down on a bended knee? Face it, the way he asks isn’t nearly as important as the fact he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Maybe ten years from now you’ll look back on his singing clown telegram as funny. Okay. Make it twenty, and then you’ll get a great laugh out of it.
Have it sized. Fingers change over time. They swell in summer, and then go back to normal in the winter. If the size is drastically off then you can still have it fixed. He bought you a ring. Try not to dwell on something as insignificant as the size. You don’t expect him to remember your shoe size or even your bra size, so why on earth would he know what your ring size is?
You hate it so much you keep trying to find a way to accidentally knock it in the toilet bowl… and then flush.Take a deep breath. As tragic as this seems, it’s not the end of the relationship. The ring is only an object. While it might be the symbol of eternal love between you and your fiancé, it does not make him love you less because he chose an ugly ring. Nor should you love him any less for having done so. Men don’t always have the best taste in diamonds. And who can blame them? It’s not like buying an engagement ring is easy. Think of the stress he must have gone through choosing one he hoped against hope that you’d like.
The best thing you can do is be honest with him and ask if it can be exchanged. Be tactful, and be nice about it. You don’t want to hurt his feelings. You should tackle the problem now before you find yourself living with the ring for the next 50 years.
How are we ever going to agree on anything in our marriage if we can’t agree on this?He wants a chic indoor wedding and a black tie reception at the local art gallery. You want a beach wedding and lobster dinner reception by the seaside. Now what? Compromise is the only way to go. Maybe you could wear formal clothes on the beach, or have a beach ceremony and a black tie reception. Approach this like a dry run for every other difference of opinion you’re going to have during the marriage. Every marriage involves a healthy dose of compromise.
Who’s footing the bill? This has a lot of impact on what you can realistically expect from this situation. If your parents are paying, they have a right to invite people. If they’re not, then you need to talk to them about the problem.
Explain that you can’t afford to have everyone they’ve ever met come to the wedding for $300 a head! Or, have a real heart-to-heart about what you want your wedding to be like. Mom and dad might surprise you by taking a step back and letting you have your wedding your way. If not, then it really comes down to the funding. If they’re not paying and they continue to push a huge guest list on you, you might have to ask them to help pay for all their extra bridge buddies and the bowling crew you have never met. And, as hard as it might be, think about why they’re pushing all their acquaintances on you in the first place. They’re proud of you and they want to show you off, of course!
Thank you for reading and good luck with your wedding planning!
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